we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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