I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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