i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
