Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
