I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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