That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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