Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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