my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
did i walk over a car last night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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