FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sarcasm needs its own font
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
