what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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