Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
even my farts smell like vagina
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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