Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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