I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize