the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They took my balls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
