Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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