u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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