My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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