remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
