I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
