I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
