I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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