So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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