Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
