.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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