So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize