If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
