she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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