shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
one might say we're banned from that church
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
