K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
