I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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