If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
