Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
