i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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