You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
