you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
