whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
