there was a trapeze. enough said
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
