I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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