That's when you crack a 10am beer
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
