One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
