my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her vagine was all disorganized.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
