Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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