Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize