why didn't you poke me back
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
