So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
