U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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