take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
