at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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