I want to have your abortion
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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