Quick, to the slutcave!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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