I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
