think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
