It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
