Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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