Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
