he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
