Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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