I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found puke in my bra..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
