4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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