Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
