Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
