can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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