not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
